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Leonardo DiCaprio and the Top 10 Most Successful Actors in Hollywood in 2011.

08/03/2011 Leave a comment

Forbes Magazine has just released their annual list of the most successful actors in Hollywood for 2011. Some of these actors on the list are inexplicably still successful after some recent disasters while others have made recent cinematic gold. There are a few excellent actors that unfortunately did not make the list even with a string of recent hits and critically acclaimed films. Where is Christian Bale, Matt Damon and Harry Potter? Maybe next year.

#10 Tom Cruise: $22 million

The poster boy for Hollywood Scientology has dropped to the tenth spot this year after topping the charts in earlier years. His latest blockbuster was last summers dreadful Knight & Day and he is hoping for yet another hit with his latest film Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol coming out this upcoming Christmas season. Very cool trailer with Eminem’s latest hit song but the film will surely be another convoluted mess. Watch the trailer here.

#9 Tim Allen $22 million

The ex-Tool Man is at number nine this year after his latest animated hit Toy Story 3 became the most popular film of 2010 and won numerous awards. Unfortunately his recent live action films have not fared as well with the ludicrous Crazy on the Outside and The Six Wives of Henry Lefay. If Allen can continue the Buzz Lightyear legacy and his upcoming return to TV is successful he will stay on this list for years. Tim Allen will next be starring in the upcoming ABC TV series The Last Days of Man.

#8 Mark Walhberg $28 million

The Fighter (2010)

Former Rapper and Calvin Klein model Mark Walhberg has evolved into a force to be reckoned with as both an Actor and Producer. With 2010’s widely popular biopic The Fighter along with the hit comedies The Other Guys and Date Night puts Mark Walhberg at number eight this year. Next up for Marky Mark Walhberg is Contraband with a release date set at March 16, 2012.

#7 Robert Downey Jr. $31 million

The Iron Man himself, Robert Downey Jr. has been on a hot streak the last few years beginning with the hit films 2008’s Iron Man and Tropic Thunder followed by Sherlock Holmes and the followup Iron Man 2. Next up for Downey is the sequel Sherlock Holmes A Game of Shadows released December 16, 2011 and the much-anticipated spin-off to Iron Man, 2012’s The Avengers where he will reprise the role of Tony Stark.

#6 Ben Stiller $34 million

Ben Stiller’s career has been hit or miss lately. His latest indie hit Greenberg barely made a notice while the abysmal Little Fockers was a monster hit. This triple threat Actor, Producer and Director makes it in at number six. Stiller’s next film will be the comedy Tower Heist along with Eddie Murphy and 2012’s Madagascar 3. Watch the hilarious trailer to Tower Heist below with a release date set at November 4, 2011.

#5 Tom Hanks $35 million

Coming in at number five is the always outstanding Tom Hanks, animated star of Toy Story 3 and the recent critical failure Larry Crowne where he directed himself co-starring Julia Roberts. Another triple threat actor, Hanks will more than likely have another hit with the upcoming Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close on November 30, 2011. Hopefully the rumors of a long-awaited sequel to his Oscar-winning role Forrest Gump turn out to be true.

#4 Will Smith $36 million

The former Fresh Prince of Bel-Air has not made a hit film since 2008’s Seven Pounds and Hancock. He will make his long-awaited return to the big screen with an upcoming conclusion to his most popular trilogy of films with Men in Black 3 and Bad Boys 3 both with a release date set for summer 2012. No teaser trailer just yet however watch the trailer to his outstanding 2008 drama Seven Pounds.

#3 Adam Sandler $40 million

The king of the goofy screwball comedy Adam Sandler makes it at number three this year after the release of the widely popular but moronic Grown Ups from last summer and this years ridiculous Zookeeper. Next up for Sandler is Jack and Jill where he will play dual roles as rival siblings one of which is an obnoxious and needy sister. Good luck with that Sandler. Watch the trailer below which looks like yet another goofy brain-dead comedy which is sure to be a huge hit among his target audience.

Jack and Jill

#2 Johnny Depp $50 million

Pirates of the Caribbean:On Stranger Tides

The most eccentric actor on the list who can play anything from a drunken pirate to a 70’s cocaine kingpin, a singing psychopath and everything in between. His latest fourth installment to the beloved Pirates franchise was one of this summers biggest hits. His upcoming film projects include another Hunter S. Thompson inspired character in The Rum Diary and a return to his TV roots in the big screen adaptation to the 80’s teen crime hit 21 Jump Street.  The release date for The Rum Diary is October 28, 2011 while 21 Jump Street will be released March 16, 2012.

#1 Leonardo DiCaprio $77 million

The most successful actor in Hollywood and one of the most talented coming in at number one is none other than Leonardo DiCaprio. Star of last years outstanding films Inception and Shutter Island will next be seen in a controversial biopic on notorious former FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover directed by Clint Eastwood which will be released October 21, 2011.

2012 will be another big year for DiCaprio as the title character in the remake of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby and in Quentin Tarantino’s highly controversial Django Unchained where he will portray a ruthless plantation owner in the deep south during the Civil War slave era.

On the set of J.Edgar with Director Clint Eastwood

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Top 5 Upcoming Worthless Sequels that make me cringe!

07/28/2011 1 comment

Saying that Hollywood has completely run out of ideas is clearly stating the obvious. When they started turning failed 80’s cartoons and Disneyland theme park rides into movies was a clear sign that the Hollywood that we once knew was absolutely finished.

Rumor has it that in summer 2012 we are going to be subjected to an endless series of big budget movies based on…..get ready for this one…..Classic Board games! Yes you read that correctly. A film version of Monopoly and Battleship are currently in the works along with a required trilogy of preposterous films. That is surely one of the signs of a global movie disaster of epic proportions.

I have compiled a list of the Top 5 Upcoming Worthless Sequels that make me cringe at just the mere mention of them.

#5 Final Destination 5 (August 12, 2011)

Here is an old movie rule that the geniuses in Hollywood fail to remember. Whenever you are making a film with a “5” in the title, as in fifth sequel, nothing you can do or say will make this movie any good. Nothing!

Whose idea was it to even make Final Destination 1? The Monkey saw that movie when it first came out in 2000 and thought it was utter garbage yet here we are 11 years later with a 5th sequel to that ridiculous horror flick with absolutely no talent in front or behind the camera.

Lets just state the obvious shall we. These movies are made simply for the purpose of enhancing the chances that teenage boys will shell out $20 to have a mindless horror flick they can take their girlfriends to almost ensuring they will get nooky afterwards since the girlfriend will surely lose 20 IQ points along with her inhibitions during this 90 minute crap shoot.

This looks embarrassing.

#4 Ghost Rider 2: The Spirit of Vengeance (February 17, 2012)

I don’t think Nicholas Cage ever got the memo that he absolutely sucks now and should have retired from films back in 2002 after he played Charlie Kaufman. Seriously Nick, go travel the world and help out under privileged kids in Africa. Open a Kangaroo clinic in Australia. Go buy the bankrupt Greece and live in the Parthenon and pretend to be Alexander the Great. Run for Governor of California. Do something else besides movies! ANYTHING! You have the cash to accomplish all of this and much more.

Why do you keep releasing movies? You are not a good actor anymore. Leaving Las Vegas was probably the last great performance of your career and that was in 1995! Please Nick just go away. You could be helping mankind in so many different ways and not torturing your fans with terrible movies like this. Please read the memo.

No trailer available yet but watch Nick Cage try to break it down scientifically in this hilarious interview from Comic-Con 2011.

#3 Underworld 4: Awakening (January 20, 2012)

I don’t know what is worse. A movie about shiny leather clad Vampires or a movie about shiny leather clad Werewolves (excuse me, Lycans). Here we have both. This 4th installment and definitely not the last in the Underworld series will see the return of Kate Beckinsale. You can pretty much assume this will completely tank and hopefully end the series. This franchise should have at best been another failed TV series on Fox.

Not even the wooden plank of an actor Scott Speedman will be returning for this. That shows just how terrible this will probably be. I can only assume that Kate Beckinsale’s LA mansion is under foreclosure and she needed the quick paycheck to pay off the bank. That is the only logical reason that she would agree to star in this future train wreck.

No trailer available yet but here is the trailer to Underworld Evolution (2006). Expect more of the same shiny leather clad nonsense.

#2 Mission: Impossible 4 Ghost Protocol (December 16, 2011)

Scientology must truly be an outstanding religion. It has the amazing power to delude Tom Cruise into thinking that he still has legions of fans that want to see him swinging from rafters and jumping off exploding trains.

2010’s Knight & Day was terrible and made this Monkey want to scissor kick Tom Cruise on the side of the head.

What in the hell is a Ghost Protocol?!!?? I don’t know and I really don’t care. But I am almost certain there will be millions of salivating Mission: Impossible fans lining up this Christmas season and will walk away sorely disappointed and regretting the $20 dollars they just wasted to find out.

Brian De Palma was smart enough to give up on Tom Cruise after the first Mission: Impossible.

Note to Tom Cruise: Read the Nick Cage memo from #4 except your last great movie was Collateral in 2004.

#1 Raging Bull 2 (September 1, 2012)

William Forsythe

Martin Scorsese must be rolling over in his grave. Oh wait he isn’t dead yet…..Well after watching this upcoming abomination next year I am sure he will wish he was. Arrogance is truly an amazing force in Hollywood. William Forsythe, after having co-starred with Robert De Niro in two movies now thinks he has the acting chops to step into his shoes and replace him as Jake Lamotta. Wow! This is truly mind-boggling.

De Niro gave one of the absolute BEST performances of all time as the outstanding boxer and tortured low life and deservedly won an Oscar among numerous other awards. Now we are going to be subjected to the 56-year-old Forsythe playing BOTH a younger version AND older version of Jake Lamotta in what is “A unique combination prequel and sequel that explores “before the rage” and “after the rage” of world middleweight boxing champ Jake LaMotta’s tumultuous life and times.”

How in the world is Forsythe even going to play a MIDDLEWEIGHT!?! Especially in his early years?!?!

He must weigh 300 pounds now, not to mention he’s 56!!

This is either just one big sick joke or more than likely will be a straight to DVD movie.

Greatest movie of the 1980's

 No trailer available yet. Here is the trailer to the 1980 masterpiece.

Note to Martin Scorsese: We love you and hope you never die and keep making great movies for another 50 years. p.s. Don’t you have the show business power to veto an obvious travesty like this? Please don’t tell us you approve of this nonsense.


Honorable mention: Total Recall (August 3, 2012)

If Collin Farrell doesn’t say my two all time favorite Total Recall one-liners from the 1990 Schwarzenegger original, I am going to go apeshit! This remake could go either way. I have mixed feelings about Collin Farrell and Arnold wasn’t the greatest actor to begin with so this could be hit or miss for me. Total Recall (2012) is directed by Len Wiseman of Underworld fame.

Total Recall (2012)