Our Idiot Brother is Paul Rudd’s glorious return to comedy after his last failed attempts with Dinner For Schmucks and How Do You Know not to mention his ridiculous cameo in Year One. Paul Rudd is great as the loveable stoner Ned who foolishly sells a bag of marijuana to an uniformed cop and lands himself in prison. Upon his release from serving as most cooperative inmate, his former life has been destroyed by his ex-girlfriend and he has nowhere else to go but impose on his three sisters with amusing results.
Now understand when I tell you that Our Idiot Brother is not a hilariously raunchy movie filled with dirty limericks and does not contain endless one liners as some of his previous films. What it does have is a lead character that is all heart with good intentions and you can’t help but love this guy even though he has an IQ comparable to Homer Simpson. Everybody knows someone like Ned and can relate to this guy.
The crew at Movie Monkey Shoot actually had a former roommate that was a spitting image of Ned and we couldn’t help but point out the similarities. Even though he has the intelligence of a mentally challenged platypus, he still has a good heart and won’t screw you over regardless if he has the money to pay for rent or not. You got to love this guy. Go see this movie today.
Our Idiot Brother *** (2011)
Directed by Jesse Peretz
Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel, Emily Mortimer, Adam Scott, Rashida Jones
Watching Zoe Saldana do her best Angelina Jolie impersonation in Colombiana was about as much fun as nose diving into a pile of bad Colombian cocaine. Whatever happened to the 10 foot tall blue warrior goddess everybody fell in love with in Avatar? Zoe has lost all the charm that made billions of people pay $15 bucks to see her in 3D as Neytiri. As with most movies released this decade, if you want to watch the best scenes, simply watch the trailer below.
Why didn’t writer Luc Besson direct this film himself? That small adjustment would have improved this film ten fold. If the name doesn’t ring a bell, Besson directed two of the best action films from the 90’s with Leon: The Professional and La Femme Nikita and also directed the remarkably inferior The Fifth Element. Instead we get French director Olivier Megaton who we think may have been the basis for the Transformers villain. That would explain a lot.
Colombiana tries too hard to be Angelina Jolie’s Wanted that even the posters are nearly identical. I’m assuming the creators of this film basically watched Wanted numerous times and decided they were going to change the name and nationality of the heroine and bingo, we get Colombiana.
The one thing we did enjoy while watching Colombiana was the re-teaming of Jordi Molla and Cliff Curtis who both played Colombian drug lords in Blow with Johnny Depp a decade ago. Unless TV and Movies have lied to me, Colombia is nothing more than drug lords and assassins. I won’t be taking a summer vacation there any time soon.
As far as plot goes, Saldana plays Cataleya Restrepo a Colombian who grows up to be a ruthless vigilante assassin after watching her parents execution in Bogota as a child and grows up planning revenge against the mobsters responsible.
Sounds like a South American Batman with breasts doesn’t it?
Re-watch Wanted instead. You’ll have a much better time. Or better yet watch Batman Begins again.
Zoe you could have done so much better. I’m burning my copy of Avatar as I write this.
Columbiana * (2011)
Directed by Megatron
Zoe Saldana, Michael Vartan, Callum Blue, Cliff Curtis, Jordi Molla
Fright Night is a perfect example of how to properly make a Vampire film now in the age where emo, listless vampires from Twilight are the norm. I will make a bold statement and say this remake is actually better than the 1985 original with Roddy McDowall.
Both films have the same premise with one of the main differences is that this remake is set in Las Vegas simply for a clever vampire plot device. This film just like the original has a perfect balance between horror and self-aware comedy.
Colin Farrell stars as next door neighbor Jerry who is accurately suspected of being a vampire while Anton Yelchin plays his suspecting neighbor high school student Charley Brewster.
With the slew of substandard 80’s remakes released this year, Fright Night is actually among the cream of the crop. A lot of fun and does not take itself to seriously.
Fright Night *** (2011)
Directed by Craig Gillespie
Colin Farrell, Anton Yelchin, David Tennant, Toni Collette, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Imogen Poots
Conan the Barbarian 3D *
Conan the Barbarian is surely destined to win the 2012 Razzie award for Worst Eye-Gouging Misuse of 3D along with a slew of other “awards”. This has to be the dumbest excuse for an 80’s action remake I have yet to see. Now don’t assume that I am a purist and think the 1982 version with Arnold was anything to scream about. That film was mediocre at best but still became a hit due to Schwarzenegger’s charisma. The 2011 remake with TV “star” Jason Momoa lacks any charisma, excitement or thrills. This film was basically made for the nostalgia factor of brand recognition and to further exploit the marketing ploy of charging extra for misuse of 3D.
I know you are probably already aware that this ruse to reintroduce 3D back into the movies is simply just a studio tactic to thwart illegal piracy. The studio went truly over board with this remake. The film is to dark, to moody and just plain soulless. Momoa grunts and moans his way through idiotic dialogue and an incoherent plot. This guy is better suited to be fighting in a cage somewhere than starring in movies and boring us to death. Speaking of cage fighting, MMA journeyman Bob Sapp plays the villainous role of Ukafa, the jealous leader of the Kushites. This should speak volumes to the poor quality of this film.
Rose McGowan looks absolutely hideous in the movie as her character Marique the Witch and would look right at home at a concert of former boyfriend Marilyn Manson. The one positive thing about this film is Rachel Nichols character Tamara looks rather sexy as the required love interest to Conan. Her character exists simply because if she were not present this would just be one long, nearly two-hour homoerotic bloodbath. This film is basically a remake of 300 choreographed by mental patients.
Avoid this dreck at all costs and save your money and go see Griff the Invisible instead which is far superior.
Conan the Barbarian (2011) *
Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Directed by Marcus Nispel
Jason Momoa, Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan, Rachel Nichols, Bob Sapp
Machine Gun Preacher Opens September 23, 2011
Machine Gun Preacher is based on the true story of Sam Childers, a former drug dealing biker who become a reborn Christian and becomes a crusader for hundreds of Sudanese kids who were forced to become soldiers.
Directed by Marc Forster
Starring Gerard Butler, Michelle Monaghan and Michael Shannon
Machine Gun Preacher will open September 23, 2011.
Coriolanus (Dec 2, 2011)
Drama, History, Thriller
Directed by Ralph Fiennes
Ralph Fiennes, Gerard Butler, Brian Cox, Vanessa Redgrave, Jessica Chastain
Final Destination 5 (no stars)
Horror films have hit an all time low with this turkey. Now I may be wrong but the comical irony with such a flaming piece of horse turd such as Final Destination 5 is that the script was clearly written by 12-year-old boys, specifically for a 12-year-old audience who unfortunately can’t even get into the theater by themselves to see this since it’s Rated R.
If they would have rated this PG-13, they will undoubtably make a half a billion dollars.
Now please tell me whose idea it was to completely revamp the horror genre and suck every bit of suspense and terror from movies like this and replace it with over the top ridiculous murder scenes that aren’t the slightest bit scary but simply make you squirm incessantly hoping you don’t regurgitate the popcorn you just spent $12 dollars on?
Was it Eli Roth?
The creators of Saw 1 through Saw 25?
Michael Bay and Platinum Dunes?
I don’t know exactly who is to blame but somebody must pay for this cinematic travesty.
No longer do we have horror films that actually try to scare the audience. We now have counterfeit “horror” films in 3D that replace scares with endless scenes of bad soap opera actresses getting tortured with increasingly gruesome set pieces for the sole purpose of titillating pre-pubescent teenage boys designed by people who should be committed to the state mental institution.
Final Destination 5 was by far the worst horror film I have seen in some time and if this type of movie excites you and you leave the theater with a smile on your face or a burning desire to run to the internet and tell all of your cyber friends how awesome it was, please for humanity’s sake, DO NOT PROCREATE!
Final Destination 5 3D (No stars) (2011)
Directed by Steven Quale
Starring Tony Todd and a bunch of bad actors you hope you never see again.