The Karate Kid (2010) * Miyagi-san is rolling over in his grave.
Ok I get it. As most of you probably already know if you follow the movies. This is not supposed to be a remake. Nor is it a sequel. It’s not even a prequel. It’s a re-imagining! These, my fellow readers are just cute buzz words that the geniuses in the marketing department at the studio came up with as a fresh new way to steal money out of your wallet using brand recognition of a familiar 1980’s coming of age story.
To the rest of the world outside the great US of A this movie was sold as the ‘Kung-Fu Kid’ and is a stand alone film with no connection to the 1984 classic starring the late Pat Morita, Ralph Macchio and the always gorgeous but sadly forgotten Elizabeth Shue.
To anyone that has ever seen or heard or even trained in the martial arts, calling a film the Karate Kid when they are clearly learning Kung-fu is beyond insulting to not only my intelligence but every movie fan out there.
This movie is definitely scraping the bottom of the cinematic barrel.
We no longer have “Wax on and wax off. Paint the fence, up and down. Paint the house side to side. Sand the floor.” Then after days of slaving away at menial tasks our young hero suddenly learns that Mr. Miyagi has taught him Karate all along and only then do we discover the genius and wisdom of this little old Japanese man.
No such luck involved in the 2010 “re-imagining”. What we are subjected to for almost 2 and a half grueling hours is our wise old hero Mr. Han (Jackie Chan) demanding that the boy “Hang up your jacket”, over and over and over again until one can no longer watch before your eyes begin to bleed from the torture. And only then by some stroke of scriptwriting 101 genius, I am forced to believe that this meek little boy suddenly becomes the next junior Kung-Fu Shaolin master by simply training to “Hang up your jacket.”
I don’t buy that. You won’t buy it either. But apparently these days kids don’t know any better and sadly this Kung-fu turkey raked in over $300 Million worldwide almost certainly ensuring that we will be subjected to a trilogy of young Jaden Smith hanging up his jacket.
Save your brain cells and rent the original on Netflix.
And don’t forget to “put him in a body bag!!!”
The Karate Kid (2010) *
Directed by Harold Zwart
Jackie Chan, Jaden Smith